Celebrations set to begin for a mid-table finish

FOOTBALL: Their team cannot win a cup, and certainly not the title, but Newcastle supporters will hire an open-top bus and drive it through the city tonight prior to the home game against Manchester United to celebrate the fact the Toons will be in the Premier League again next season.

To illustrate how differently teams measure success, everyone involved at Newcastle, from manager Alan Pardew (pictured), who is still banned from the dugout for a further two games, right down to the cleaners, will receive a bonus if the club finishes in the top 10. It is presently ninth.

Newcastle is certainly better placed than the bottom three clubs - Fulham, Sunderland and Cardiff - who all need a minor miracle to avoid relegation.

Weekend's games (home teams first): Sat: Man City v Southampton, Aston Villa v Fulham, Cardiff v Crystal Palace, Hull v Swansea, Newcastle v Man United, Norwich v West Brom, Chelsea v Stoke; Sun: Everton v Arsenal, West Ham v Liverpool; Mon: Spurs v Sunderland.