Demi Moore savagely roasts ex Bruce Willis
A PARADE of friends and former co-stars lined up to poke fun at Bruce Willis for the actor's own Comedy Central roast over the weekend - but one unexpected special guest delivered the funniest jokes of all.
Willis' Looper co-star Joseph Gordon Levitt acted as roast master for the evening, and at one point introduced a guest not announced as part of the line-up: Willis' ex-wife of 13 years, Demi Moore.
The actress and mother to Willis' three daughters - who were all in the audience, laughing - did not hold back.
"I was married to Bruce Willis for the first three Die Hard movies, which makes sense, because the last two sucked," she announced, as reported by USA Today.
"I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense. You were dead the whole time."
"Our daughters are incredibly well-adjusted, considering two of them are half Bruce Willis," she continued.
"People wondered why our marriage came to an end. I think it's because some jealousy started to creep in … Bruce never got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did," she said, a reference to her shaved head in the 1997 film G.I. Jane.
Moore also announced that Willis was "easily one of my top three husbands" (she has been married exactly three times).
"Bruce Willis is what you get if you isolate the white part of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson." - Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
"Bruce, we're going to have a good time tonight, but don't get too comfortable because later we're going to be replacing you with Ashton Kutcher." - Gordon-Levitt again, this time referencing the fact Moore married Kutcher after she and Willis split.
"Hollywood wouldn't be Hollywood if they didn't reward a man for ageing into mediocrity." - Willis' Moonlighting co-star, Cybil Shepherd.
"You had an amazing action film career until Jason Statham started balding. Bruce has been very active with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is where they make sick kids meet you so dying doesn't seem so terrible." - Nikki Glaser.
"Bruce Willis used to be a big action star. Now when you look in the mirror, you see dead people. I hope this roast doesn't end with you realising your career was dead the entire time." - Jeff Ross.