Explicit truth about Bachelor scandal
Last night's episode of The Bachelor forged a new frontier for Australian TV: The entire show was dedicated to figuring out whether or not one contestant, Monique, called Bachie Matt a "dog c**t" behind his back.
The amount of times we had to bleep Dog **** it really quite staggering. #thebachelorau— Osher Günsberg (@oshergunsberg) August 14, 2019
Not since the luckless Bronson on the last season of Married At First Sight has Australia devoted such emotional energy to the king of the four-letter words.
On MAFS, the C-bomb took centre stage after Bronson told his viperish "wife" Ines Basic that she was "acting like a C-bomb". Appalled "relationship expert" Mel Schilling thundered, "A tip from me to you: Don't use language like that if you want any chance of a relationship with a woman!" which in turn caused the entire viewing public of Australia to howl back, "Yes but Ines was acting like a C-Bomb!"
What followed was a tidal wave of petitions and opinion pieces that overwhelmingly agreed that Bronson had every right use the C-word if he "c-ing" well wanted to, especially in the direction of someone as poisonous as Ines.
Last night's The Bachelor was a C-bomb Pearl Harbor as Matt, looking increasingly unsure about what possessed him to sacrifice months of his life to live in close quarters with these women, interrogated each of the mansion-mates to find out whether or not Monique was actually guilty of calling him a female dog's private parts.
Tonight’s episode of #thebachelorau has featured more dog anatomy than 5 years of vet school— Dr Chris Brown (@drchrisbrown) August 14, 2019
There was a gripping "whodunit" vibe to the ep, but what was conspicuously missing was any Mel Schilling-level outrage from anyone at all about the actual use of the word, particularly curious as it was used about four billion times as Matt tried to sleuth the truth.
"My head is still a bit messy from what I learned last night and it's rattled me and thrown it into a wrong headspace," Matt lamented. But it seemed like his misery was caused by the fact it's dawning on him that everyone in the house is unbearable. At no point did he say he was specifically wounded by the combination of four letters starting with C.
Even Monique's indignant attempts at self defence zeroed in on a flat denial that she had ever called the Bachelor a "pig". The C-bomb? She seemed happy to let that accusation go through to the keeper.
You could argue that this reveals we tolerate the C-bomb when it's dropped on a dude, but we still bridle with indignation if it's levelled at a woman.
But what it really tells us is the C-word is not considered all that offensive anymore. Most of us - male or female - are beginning to see it as a perfectly useful form of Aussie slang to be employed sparingly, and perhaps not in front of grandma, Mel Schilling, or the under-10s, but to great effect when absolutely necessary.
Im more offended at Matt’s use of the words “my plesh” than Monique saying “dog-c**t” at this point in time.#thebachelorau— Ellen (@Ellz88) August 14, 2019
There'll be those who will still take deep offence to the fact that the C-word is an alternative name for vagina, an organ many see as so sacrosanct that it can never be disparaged. Yet we happily use the male d**k as a pejorative in various forms, the neutral a***hole is another Aussie favourite that make few of us blush and f**k handily brings them all together.
Rude bits be rude, basically.
Perhaps we should be encouraged that the C-word has finally broken through the glass gutter and joined its male counterparts as a very strong but useful pejorative. We're now a nation of equal-opportunity, gendered-genitalia-based insulters and for that we should be proud.
Alex Carlton is a freelance writer. Continue the conversation @Alex_Carlton