This may not be the bat that I found flying in my bedroom, but this is what I imagined in the dead of night.
This may not be the bat that I found flying in my bedroom, but this is what I imagined in the dead of night.

How to get a bat out of your bedroom

SO, HAVING only just barely survived my bedroom encounter with a snake a few months ago, I have just endured another wild encounter in my bed.

No, it's not what you're thinking ... it wasn't remotely sexy.

Lying in bed, on the verge of consciousness, I was suggesting, in no uncertain terms, the little critter making a ruckus outside my window knick off somewhere else, when I felt gentle breeze on my leg.

Then I realised there wasn't a breath of wind outside. And the fan wasn't on.

I had a sudden dawning of realisation - there was something in my room. A flying something.

I bravely peeked out over my blanket and there it was. A bat - flying straight at my head.

I shrieked like a banshee.

I'm not proud of that, but it looked like some kind of vampirish nightmare, making a lunge towards my bare throat.

I lay there in the dark with visions of a bat tangled in my hair giving me the lyssavirus as it sought out my blood.

I imagined him thinking my blankie hideout was a cave...

A bit melodramatic I know, but it was late, and I was half asleep.

The poor bat was as freaked out as I was and was desperately trying to find a way out. The windows have screens and I'd just shut the door, so he was trapped, looking for a way out.

But in doing so, he was doing F1-11 inspired flybys, just 10cm above me.

I had to be brave.

I slid across the bed and made a dive for the door.

The bat took off down the hallway, then turned around to come back.

I shrieked like a banshee again, and slammed the door shut, cowering like an idiot.

At this stage I'm also wondering where everybody else in the house was, and why they weren't responding to my blood curdling screeching.

They were asleep.

When the bat started doing his flybys above my husband who was asleep on the couch, I realised the screens doors were also shut.

In hindsight I admit the sight of me commando crawling down the hallway to let the bat out would have been pretty funny, but at the time, not so humorous.

Finally, the door was open, the bat made his escape, and all was well in my world.

Recapping the incident the following night to friends over a refreshing ale, it all seemed pretty funny. Until I felt a gentle breeze on my shoulder. The bat was back.