'I like watching my husband with other men'
When we think about our partners having sex with other people, it's usually with someone from the opposite sex, but how would you feel if you your man was having sex with another man? For a small but growing number of women, seeing their man with another man is not only okay, it's also a big turn on.
Bradford and Angela have been together for nearly 10 years after meeting at work. The only difference between Bradford and Angela and other married couples is they are both bisexual and they have an open relationship.
They also run the BytheBi network, which is a support group for bisexual people where they run events, sex ed-classes and a podcast. They call it promiscuity with permission.
Angela said that not only does she encourage Bradford to sleep with other men, she enjoys watching it.
"We are so used to seeing men as the aggressors and instigators and as being masculine. When I see my husband being tender with another man, I see another side to him. Bradford is great in bed and I can really appreciate what the other guy is feeling on a physical level. On top of that, it's also incredibly hot to watch, it's like my very own porn show, sometimes I even get to sit in the director's chair and dictate what I want to see."
In 2016, the hugely popular pornography site Pornhub - which boasts over 115 million daily views - published a finding: Women are responsible for more than a third of the site's gay male porn views.
The survey found that "Gay Male" porn is still the second most popular category after lesbian porn for women, but for those over the age of 45 "Gay Male" surpasses "Lesbian" to become the #1 most viewed category. If you drill down even further (pardon the pun) in terms of what women are searching for within this category, the terms 'black', 'straight guys', 'daddy', 'bareback', and 'big dick' are the top five.
So it looks like older gay men are more appealing than younger, with "daddy" ranking six spots above "Twink". (Twink is gay slang for a young or young-looking gay or bisexual man.)
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The Gay category falls into seventh place for men in terms of top viewed categories, so the "Gay Porn" category actually ranks higher with the opposite sex than with its traditional target demographic.
Last year sexuality researcher, Lucy Neville released her book Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys and she claims that women are getting sick of straight heterosexual porn as they see it as "objectifying women and not treating them as people, a lot of the time it seems like the women aren't actually enjoying it".
Neville interviewed and surveyed more than 500 women over five years for the project. Many of the women with whom she spoke to said "the problem they have with heterosexual porn is that they only focus on the female body" without paying enough attention to men.
"Gay porn gives an opportunity to look at the male form and male beauty and the male face when orgasming," Neville said. Some of women in the study commented that the actors in gay porn had better bodies than actors in straight or heterosexual porn.
Neville also revealed that for rape victims and survivors of abuse, male-on-male gay porn is "one of the few types of sexually explicit media they can enjoy without feeling triggered or re-traumatised."
Since launching the bythebi podcast Braford and Angela have received hundreds of emails from around the world asking about sexual fluidity in a relationship.
"Most people who contact are us are confused and just want someone to talk to who isn't going to judge, someone who has been there and can share their experience with dating a bisexual person," Angela said.
"We tell them there is no right or wrong, if their husband wants to have sex with another man, why not watch? It may just add another dimension to their relationship. If I'm watching Bradford with another man or he comes home and tells me what he got up to while on a date with guy, I still find it incredibly hot and horny and it usually leads to us having really great sex."
This originally appeared on Whimn and has been republished with permission.