OPINION: I’m being dogged by morons on beaches

THANK goodness I was carrying a gun that fateful day at the beach when I was attacked by six large dogs. Even though my hands were shaking I managed to drop two of them and the others ran off.

Wasn't that lucky?

Actually, that's not quite true, I didn't have a gun.

For some reason, I forgot to pack a pistol along with my towel and sunscreen.

Honestly, what was I thinking?!

Fortunately, there was a nearby pile of rocks which I managed to scramble up with seconds to spare. And there I stood, surrounded by snarling hounds, while their owner, Mr Moron, sat under a distant tree pawing at his phone and ignoring my shouts for help.

High tide was hours away, so I had a long wait until I could take my chances with the sharks and jellyfish.

Thankfully I was rescued a few minutes later by a little old lady walking a silky terrier.

The dogs dashed off to attack her and she bravely fended them off with her walking stick.

Then a bloke roared out of the dunes wielding a piece of driftwood, which finally got Mr Moron's attention.

As things rapidly deteriorated, I decided to make a discreet exit. Look, I'm not particularly proud of that, so let's never mention it again okay?

I drove home, ignoring the strong smell of urine coming from somewhere and mentally scratched that beach off my Safe Places to Walk list, a list that is sadly getting shorter each month - thanks to morons with dogs.

Hopefully one day these dangerous mongrels will be banned from our communities; big dogs that is - unfortunately we're stuck with their moron owners.

But until then, all I can do is try to avoid them, because apparently the police take a real dim view of show-offs with guns.

Greg Bray blogs at gregbraywriter.wordpress.com. Find him on Facebook: Greg Bray - Writer.