Sabotage: Angie blindsided by betrayal
The man everyone thought was perfect has been sabotaged and exposed by his own brother on The Bachelorette - the upsetting revelation coming only hours after Angie was given a dressing down by another guy's dad and deemed not good enough to be a pie heiress at the family's pie empire.
Carlin has been spinning a web of lies. First we found out he's still married. Then it got worse when it was revealed he has lip fillers. Tonight, his brother comes out and confirms Carlin's gunning for a gig as an extra on Neighbours and definitely went on the The Bachelorette to build a profile.
What makes it even more offensive is Carlin's a terrible actor and we're forced to witness a seriously embarrassing scene that unfolds on a random suburban cul-de-sac while all the neighbours take their bins out.
But before that, we head up the central coast to meet Timmmm's family and his best mate Jackson. Now, Jackson hates Angie and we're pretty sure he wishes he was dating Timmmm.
So, in keeping with tonight's theme of lies and sabotage, he tells Angie that Timmmmm is a massive party boy who doesn't want to settle down. Now, we love lies and sabotage on this show - in fact, we encourage both - but Jackson is just wasting our time. We're not annoyed that he told a lie about Timmmm. We're annoyed he didn't make the lie more dark and sinister. Next!
We head up to Ryan's hometown and we can barely contain ourselves on the Jetstar flight because we've been promised a confrontation. Angie's still fuming after finding out Ryan lied to her about never having applied for previous series of this crapfest before. It's probably a conversation to have in a private place but she launches into him on the beach.
"I was just in a rut in the sense that I was just living to work and when I got the phone call to say we'd love for you to apply for The Bachelorette, I was just, like, you know what? I'm gonna say yes," he explains. "I got asked to audition. So I didn't go out of my way to do it. And I didn't think too much about it. So I went through the first audition, but it didn't eventuate or go anywhere."
Angie seems pretty hung up on the fact Ryan auditioned for Ali's series of The Bachelorette and, not to speculate, but she's probably just concerned Ryan was keen on her after hearing all those stairs rumours.
"I didn't know it was her," he confirms. "If I hadn't of been asked, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to apply. But in this instance, knowing it was you, I was going to do everything humanly possible to get onto it."
Do we believe him? Look, it seems like new lies are being exposed every second on this show. We need Meryl Streep to come in and snoop through everyone's business like she did when she wore those bad false teeth on Big Little Lies. Until that happens, we'll just allow everyone to keep lying to Angie's face and not do anything about it.
We jet back down to Sydney to meet Jackson and he gives us a tour of the family pie van. His dad - pie king and former footballer Sean Garlick - is worried Angie's just using his son to take advantage of the family's pie fortune and become a pie heiress.
"Dad just doesn't want me to end up with a freeloader," Jackson tells Angie. Wow. It's like a pie to the face.
When Angie rolls up to the pie kingdom, Jackson's dad makes her call him The Pie King. OK, that's a lie. But we'll call him The Pie King as a sign of respect.
The Pie King is not impressed by Angie's career as a Goggleboxer and doesn't think she has the work ethic needed to make it in the high-stakes pie biz.
"Jackson's not following her up to the Sunshine Coast! We've got the Garlick family business! There are no days off with the Garlick family business! It's work seven days a week!" he growls.
Mmmhhhmmm mmmhhmmm. Interesting. Not to disrespect The Pie King, but we didn't realise his pie empire had a head office located on a yacht off the coast of Cabo, where he was partying for his 50th birthday with Jackson and a group of bikini babes the other week.
"I think it's important our son finds someone of a similar type of person - hard working, independent. Those sorts of traits … you can't learn them. You just have them or you don't," he growls to Angie. Yowza. Another pie to the face.
Angie's had enough pie for one night and calls time. As she says goodbye to Jackson, she begs him to open up and reveal his feelings more. We then get an awkward succession of bleeps followed by a laugh and not even Angie looks like she understands what just happened.
"BLEEEEEP about your feelings, I just BLEEEEP that's BLEEEEP," he says.
And it's not the final pie to the face for Angie tonight.
We push Angie into an Uber and head over to Carlin's brother's place where we regale everyone with a hilarious anecdote about how Angie was banned from the pie empire and had her dreams dashed of ever becoming a pie heiress. Carlin's brother listens intently and we get a little weirded out by how enthralled he is.
The brother takes Angie away for a casual chat where she casually mentions the time that crying clinger Jamie lied and told her Carlin was only here to kickstart a career as an actor on Neighbours. Crazy, right?! Apparently not.
"I mean, leading up to this, Carlin was pursuing his acting career," his brother shrugs.
Oh my. Angie has been fooled for about the seventh time in 24 hours. It's really just getting too predictable.
"He hasn't actually told me that. And you think he could be using this … for that?" she stumbles.
It's around now the brother realises he has probably just said a bunch of stuff he shouldn't and the camera zooms in.
"Ahhh. Ummmmm," he stares at the ground. "I guess so. I think at the start … yeah. That's the career he's going for."
Angie can barely breath. I mean, she has just come to terms with the fact Carlin has been lying about his lip filler. Now this? The most shocking thing of all is that Jamie was right.
There's only one thing to do: Drag Carlin out onto the driveway and confront him in the dark cul-de-sac as all the neighbours peer out through their venetian blinds.
"I came on here for serious reasons, like I told you," Carlin pleads but Angie doesn't believe him.
"He doesn't think that's what you came on here for. He said he thinks you came on here mainly for your acting. Be honest! I don't care if you're an actor. That doesn't mean you can't love. Just say you're an actor," Angie demands.
"Acting's really not that big of an idea in my life. I'm not shooting for the stars. I'm not hustling. F**k. I feel so strongly for you," he explains. He's not trying to beat out Brad Pitt for roles in Hollywood! He's just trying to get by and make some money to pay of his lip filler treatments. If he scores a role as Toadie's more hot long lost brother on Neighbours, great! He'd even settle for a recurring role as a teen runaway who Irene adopts on Home And Away! At first his character would be a moody trouble maker and Alf would lead a campaign to run him out of town, but then Leah would get mugged and he'd stop the thief in the act and all of a sudden he'd become the golden boy of Summer Bay. Geez, Angie - he's not asking for much!
But then Carlin goes and ruins his chances of ever scoring a role when he gives this embarrassing performance and all the neighbours start giggling.
"When I look at you, I see you. You can't fake this shit. You can't fake feelings," he stumbles - attempting to impress casting directors around the nation - as our bodies tense up from the cringe-worthiness that's unfolding before us. "If you can't see me at the end of the day for who I am and what we built … Then that's it. You know what, that's it. I f**kin' care about you, hey."
Carlin breaks down and Angie runs off into the dark cul-de-sac while sobbing - narrowly avoiding being run down by a passing Hyundai Getz.
So far, both Ryan and Carlin have lied to Angie's face only to be exposed. Surely one of them will be sent home tonight? Angie values honesty and integrity over everything and, at this stage of the competition, she's sick of the games and doesn't want weaselly men who bend the truth.
But on the other hand, she's still annoyed The Pie King deemed her not worthy enough to enter the pie kingdom and take over the reins of the pie empire so she sends The Pie Prince home in the pie van.