Why Aussie TV is a joke
There is still a place in the world we can go to for new, challenging and groundbreaking creative works that make us think, make us laugh and often make us feel uncomfortable.
That place is a modern art gallery and the stuff there is crap. I prefer television, where everything is always the same and, if it's not, there are letters.
A conservative friend of mine once looked me in the eye from over a glass of wine and said, as a wise father might lovingly impart to his son: "All change is bad."
I waited for the caveat but it never came. That was it. That was his entire life philosophy.
It is also the philosophy of every TV network in Australia.
If something works, you do it over and over and over again. And then if it stops working you keep doing it until it starts working again.
When Channel 7 dared to change just one host of Sunrise after a decade or so the people protested: "Too soon!"
When Channel 9 dared to try something new for its breakfast line-up it was a disaster but they fixed it by making it the same again.
Channel 7 also hit ratings gold by making My Kitchen Rules the same as Channel 10's MasterChef and then figured they might as well just buy the MasterChef judges themselves. Then when that didn't work they bought The Voice.
Even the ABC knows it must always stay the same, which is why it has so many people on it talking about diversity. And why every year it always hired the Chaser boys to do a show.
Then when the ABC had the audacity to not commission The Checkout so it could focus on the internet or some other bollocks fad there was an outpouring of outrage, albeit mostly from the Chaser boys themselves.
Fortunately the boys are back at the ABC in one way or another and all is now right with the world.
All change is bad and if that ever changes then by God I'll be writing a letter.
Originally published as Why Aussie TV is a joke